Monday was my best friend Trevoya’s birthday. She passed away in 2008, shortly after giving birth to her only child, Tristan. It was my first time experiencing the loss of a close friend and it was rough. Each year since, as her birthday approached, I’ve made plans for how to spend the day in order to avoid breaking down. So, in true Sharnikya fashion, my Monday was jam packed and went something like this: leave the office at 3:30pm, first coaching session at 5pm, second coaching session at 6pm, gym at 7pm, board of directors call at 8pm (with plans to drop off early for my final coaching session for the evening), and then bed. Avoid-Breakdown-Plan was in full effect!

Well, my 6pm session was cancelled so there was a gap. I decided to change the sheets and that took all of five minutes, so I reorganized the top drawer of my nightstand. Yes, I was running from it, trying to keep busy, and saying to God, “Not today God, I don’t feel like being sad. Not today.” And then I was reminded of a verse from The Beatitudes, “Blessed are they that mourn for they shall be comforted.” (Matthew 5:4) 

So, I mourned the death of my dear friend Trevoya. I cried and cried some more and I was comforted. I heard her laugh and remembered moments so vividly; like when she called me from North Carolina as she waited for the lines to come through on the pregnancy test (she took three of them). She was so nervous and excited. We were both whispering on the phone because her fiancé was in the next room. I don’t know why I was whispering, but she whispered so I followed suit.

I thought about our last birthday dinner together. We went to a Mexican restaurant in Greenville, NC and I made her put on the silliest sombrero as the servers sang Happy Birthday. She was embarrassed and I was dying laughing. I remembered the dip! The dip was so good! We had gone to the restaurant a few times before and always contemplated getting the dip but finally got it and it was gone in sixty seconds!

I remembered her birthday party at 2 Dogs Pizza in Ayden, NC. I believe she was turning nine. Anyway, she came in ready to party and when Paula Abdul’s Opposites Attract came on you would have thought she was in the video!

I recalled how excited we both were when she received her first ‘blue box’ from Tiffany & Co. and when we finally decided on the name “Tristan” for the baby – we knew the name would be Tristan Star for a girl and Tristan ‘something’ for a boy. I also thought about the plans we had for traveling together, mainly Caribbean Islands but she wanted to go to Paris as well. We didn’t get to do a lot of the things we wanted to do together but she is in heaven, the ultimate destination and we will meet again. For now, I will remember her often and mourn when I need to so that I may be comforted. 

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